Thus is a pretty good storyline. I think that it is a bit rushed; little i's and spelling mistakes. If you had spent a bit more time on the paths slides, the story would be a bit more appalling to the reader. The first slides were fantastic presentation wise. I like the way that the words would fade onto the screen. I read all the slides because I don't think that the set up of the links on the slides is good, and it meant at I could read everything. You have some neat titles for the slides. What made you do a story about creepy clowns?
I think that this story is more suited for year 7-8 boys. Younger kids would not get the plot.
Tip: if you'd given the reader a bit more info on the main character before plunging into the story, it might help the reader connect with the main person and his plight.
Good job Samuel this was quite scary and it made me fell like I was actually in the story looking through the persons eyes.
ReplyDeleteHi Sam,
ReplyDeleteThus is a pretty good storyline. I think that it is a bit rushed; little i's and spelling mistakes. If you had spent a bit more time on the paths slides, the story would be a bit more appalling to the reader. The first slides were fantastic presentation wise. I like the way that the words would fade onto the screen. I read all the slides because I don't think that the set up of the links on the slides is good, and it meant at I could read everything. You have some neat titles for the slides. What made you do a story about creepy clowns?
I think that this story is more suited for year 7-8 boys. Younger kids would not get the plot.
Tip: if you'd given the reader a bit more info on the main character before plunging into the story, it might help the reader connect with the main person and his plight.